My Darkest Days feat. Ludacris, Chad Kroger & Zakk Wylde - Porn Star Dancing

My Darkest Days feat. Ludacris, Zakk Wylde - Porn Star Dancing found on Pop

Oh, the holidays...right.

Forgot all about the holidays. If nothing else I did pick up some sweet new games and gagets.

Games:
Assassin's Creed Brotherhood
Castlevania: Lord of Shadows
Dead Rising 2
Madden NFL 11 (with Drew Brees on the cover)

DVDs:
The Expendables
Inception
Scott Pilgram vs. The World

Misc:
So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (book)
Assorted Meats & Cheeses from Hickory Farms & Swiss Colony
Nintendo Monopoly (I have a growing collection of Monopoly games)
A can of Mixed Nuts
A pasta cooker/strainer (as seen on TV)

And my awesome wife got me this:


And as usual, my mother lost one of my gifts. Happens every year. I'm still waiting for the windshield for the CHiPs motorcycle I got back in 1980.

More Videos

I've become addicted to YouTube. Just enjoy.

NES Left 4 Dead


L4D - Your screwed


Half-Life2 + Castlevania =


Castlevania - Heart of Fire

[Mario Paint] Epic Video Game Medly

That didn't take long to post another Mario Paint song. This is an epic 22 song medly of theme songs from some of gaming historys most famous.

[Mario Paint] Metallica - Fade To Black

I have found a new obsession: Mario Paint covers.

Sadly, I was a musician and sucked at composing anything on Mario Paint.

Enjoy, and I'll post new ones I think are good.

Random Thoughts

If "Love means never having to say you are sorry" then I wonder how many men have actually been in love.

I hate Christmas. And I hate being sick. So right now really sucks.

What makes Hot Wheels and Legos better than Matchbox and Mega Blocks?

Card Games on Motorcycles!

Why is it that I will have thousands of thoughts throughout the day, yet when I go to post them here, my mind goes blank. Man, that sucks.

Captain N

In case you need a refresher on who Captain N is/was: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_N:_The_Game_Master

Why doesn't someone *cough*[adultswim]*cough* pick this show up just for the hell of it?

On a side note: I wish Matt Moylan would update http://www.lilformers.com/. It's been since September since he last did.

Mr. Bubbles

I searched the internet and have found nothing. Why hasen't someone done something to combine these two? I mean, the joke is right there.

Red Dead Reminder

Seeing these reminds me that I really need to finish Red Dead Redemption. Mostly so I can have a reason to download Undead Nightmare.

Click on images to zoom.

Where Have I Been

So, yeah...

It's been a while. Between work sending me to a naval base to finish a job because the guy working the job was fired for being an idiot, then getting sent back to the high school as the project is on its final leg of completion, being a loving husband and father, the Saints starting their defence of their Super Bowl Championship and the video games....oh the games....I've been busy. Get off my back.

Speaking of video games, I've been catching up on some older titles. Mass Effect 2, City of Heroes: Going Rogue, Dragon Age: Origins, the new Left 4 Dead DLC "The Sacrifice", Dragon Age again, Overlord II, more Dragon Age, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2 and even more Dragon Age (what? something is compelling me to play it.) Add to it my new favorite website: http://www.haloloz.com/ and I've neglected this blog. but, I'm going to try and post whenever I can. So, here is a few things I thing are funny until I post again.

Click the images to zoom.

Pokemon diets

I have often wondered the same thing. One man's pet is just another mans food I guess.

Click on it to zoom.

Rockstar

Oh, Rockstar Games, you magnificent bastards. Once again you have created a masterpiece in gaming. Of course I'm talking about Red Dead Redemption.

As it seems with all of Rockstar's franchises, sequels allow for perfection. (see: Grand Theft Auto & Grand Theft Auto 2 in comparison to GTA3, GTA: Vice City and GTA: San Andreas) The first Red Dead - Red Dead Revolver - was good, but seriously lacking in my opinion. I expected a much better experience than I got. And I was sceptical when I heard about Redemption, because of my experiences with Revolver. I am so sorry for doubting. By now, I should know that Rockstar hardly ever disappoints (except, and this is my opinion, when they put too much into a game and it takes away from the actual story and gameplay...*cough*GTA4*cough*)

To this day, GTA3 is my favorite of the series. I think this is because of the complete reboot he franchise received when it went from the Playstation to the Playstation 2. Long gone were the crappy graphics and top down view of GTA, GTA: London 1972 and GTA2. Celebrity voice talent, 3rd person point of view, engaging storylines, all created a masterpiece. And you have done it again with Red Dead Redemption. Thank you, Rockstar Games.

Now if we could only get Bully 2.

So, I'm a dork.

Father's day is great. My wife got me some great gifts.

- A Star Wars X-Wing t-shirt.
- Red Dead Redemption for the Xbox 360.
- Donnie Darko on DVD.
- The Devil's Rejects on DVD.
- The Dark Crystal on DVD.

It was a nerd-filled Father's Day.

Disturbed - "Another Way To Die"

New Disturbed. My day can't get any better.... or can it?

I just heard this for the first time about twenty minutes ago. My first reaction was in two parts:

1) Awesome!! Disturbed has a new song, which means a new album!

2) Wow, this songs lyrics are pretty appropriate considering the whole BP/Gulf oil spill thing.

News about "Transformers 3"

I just read that the main villain in Transformers 3 will be Shockwave. I'm not too upset by this, but knowing the Transformers since I was a kid, I know Shockwave is Megatron's second in command, who remained on the planet Cybertron. From what the article said, they have made Shockwave the dictator of Cybertron after the Autobots and Decepticons left to find the Allspark. So, does this mean he is not a Decepticon? And since the plot of the movies has taken place here on Earth, how does the ruler of Cybertron fit into this?





Couldn't they just have brought Shockwave into the already existing Decepticons and made the main villain Unicron? I mean, he ends up in every version of Transformers, why not the live action movies?



I guess planet-sized, world eating Transformers aren't in Michael Bay's budget. He should really think about the number of explosions he could have with a planet sized robot.


Thank fully, Mr. Bay has stated that the Autobot twins, Mudflap and Skids, from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, are all but gone. Also, no one will be resurrected if they die, again like T:RotF. And of course the big news is that Megan Fox will not be in this one. Personally, I wish there were even less humans in a movie based on giant robots. How is it that the Transformers can carry numerous television shows and a classic animated movie, based on the actual robots, but the live action movies need huge human casts that overshadow the robots? If we are lucky, when Michael Bay is done destroying childhoods with his vision, maybe someone good like J.J. Abrams or Christopher Nolan can attempt a reboot. They have done great with Star Trek and Batman.

The end of the world

I realized that there are so many different apocalyptic scenarios in our pop culture.

The Zombie Apocalypse - found in numerous books, movies and video games.

The Robot Apocalypse - made famous by the Terminator and Matrix movie series, as well as the many books.

The Dragon Apocalypse - most notably in the movie Reign of Fire.

The Vampire Apocalypse - the movie Daybreakers comes to mind.

The Alien Apocalypse - another popular one found in many books, movies and television shows. (this on can be broken into a dozen or so sub-scenarios, including alien invasion, body snatchers, alien virus and I guess you could include The Blob though I'm not quite sure what that falls under.)

I'm adding a poll for you to help me figure out which would be the worst one to attempt to survive. I have my opinion, of course, but I want to now what others think.

My Opinion, in order of worst to easiest.
Zombies - Billions of undead people trying to eat you, the odds aren't in your favor.
Dragons - They are freaking Dragons, they fly, breath fire and can destroy a city in seconds.
Robots - They are cold, uncaring machines of death, but they are just machines.
Aliens - They cause untold damage and kill thousands, but they always are defeated by something simple.
Vampires - They don't go out during the day, and have a fear of garlic. Shouldn't be too hard to survive this.

5 Kids Next Door members I want to see.

While watching Cartoon Network, I happened to catch a couple episodes of the show Codename:Kids Next Door. On the show, a group of kids battle "adult tyranny" using make shift weapons and machines. Each member of the KND is referred by a number, or as they call it, "numbuh." The main characters are Numbuhs 1 through 5, with additional characters using various numbers, some representing the kids job with the KND (i.e.: Numbuh $1.50 an hour - the KND lawyer, Numbuh VO5 - a haircut surgeon, Numbuh 20/20 - a marksman, etc...) This got me thinking, there are some numbers I would love to see.

And while this is not technically a Top 5, here are the 5 Numbuh's I'd love to actually see.

Numbuh 69 - I just picture a kid with a fake 70's porno mustache.

Numbuh 187 - 187 is police code for murder .

Numbuh 420 - The international number of pot smokers.

Numbuh 1337 - Geek speak for "elite."

Numbuh 666 - The number of the Beast, or Antichrist.

I wonder why the creators of this show never touched on these members of the KND. Wait, now I remember, this is a kids show.

For a full list of actual KND members used in the show, go here:

http://knd.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Kids_Next_Door_Operatives

Top 5...er...10 Video Game Bad Asses

Okay, I know I said I'd be doing Top 5's but this is a subject where there are so many bad asses. So, I have chosen to bless you with an extra 5. Don't you just feel blessed. Now, there is clearly fan bias towards certain video game characters (as I found out from the nearly hundreds of lists similar to this one), and I know this list will not make everyone happy. But this is my opinion, so I accept the critiques and angry comments. So without further ado, let's begin.

#10 - Link (The Legend of Zelda series)
Link is not usually the first person to come to mind when you think of "Bad Ass." Clearly, the tunic and tights look screams "Broadway" more than "Bar Fight." But you have to hand it to the guy. He has saved Hyrule countless times, fought some of the most memorable creatures and in Twilight Princess turns into a pretty kick ass wolf. After nearly 10 games over 8 different Nintendo systems, Link is, if nothing else, a bad ass for Nintendo's bank account.

#9 - Dante (Devil My Cry series)

Dante is the son of the demon Sparta and a human woman. So right off the bat, he has a pretty bad ass bloodline. Add in his agility, insane swordsmanship, master marksmanship and priceless quips and one lines and he has all the makings of a legendary bad ass. Sadly, I do have to deduct points for the emo hair style and cliche trench coat. Sorry.

#8 - Subject Delta (Bioshock 2)

He's a freaking 1st Generation Big Daddy. How much more bad ass do you need to get? As if having a Drill for an arm wasn't enough, his arsenal includes a rivet gun, shotgun, gating gun and a harpoon launcher. Nothing is better than making art by harpooning a splicer to a wall. Being made of a diving suit makes being underwater a cake walk. I just wish there were more to actually do underwater, besides walk from point A to point B.

#7 - Dr. Gordon Freeman (Half-Life series)

There is, for some reason, a multitude of individuals who like to compare Freeman to Halo's Master Chief. For the life of me, I don't know why. Gordon is way cooler and a much bigger Bad Ass. Last time I checked, I didn't see Chief cracking skulls with a crowbar. Plus, he is a theoretical physicist who knows how to handle a gun. Which makes him a bad ass nerd.

#6 - Marcus Fenix (Gears of War series)

Marcus is the gritty, muscular, shoot-first-ask-questions-later leader of an equally gritty group of soldiers in a war against underground aliens known as the Locust. Hell, with in the first few minutes of the 1st game, Marcus goes from being in prison to leading Delta squad, a rag-tag group so different you half expect to see Carl Weathers and Jessie Ventura among them. In fact, that is what makes Marcus Fenix so bad ass. He's an ex-con who is not only forced to fight, but to lead, and he manages to kick some serious locust ass as he does it.

#5 - Solid Snake (Metal Gear series)

I'm going to get hell for putting Snake this low on the list, but he does make the Top 5. Yet as I sit here typing, I'm wondering if I even need to express why this character is even on this list. Nearly every other "Top (whatever) video game bad asses" lists I have read has Solid Snake not only on it, but clearly in the top three. So why is he so low on my list? Because as bad ass as Snake is, to me, there are four guys who top him.

#4 - Frank West (Dead Rising)

Not only is Frank West bad ass, he might be a bit too obsessed with his work. Taking a helicopter past a military blockade, jumping out of said helicopter onto the roof of a shopping mall, then spending the next 72 hours fighting off hoards of zombies just to get a story. And how much more bad ass do you have to be to walk up to a zombie, put a giant Lego-style mask on it, take it's picture, then beat it with a guitar? Lets see Chris Redfield do that. On top of all that, he's covered wars, you know.

#3 - The Apprentice, Starkiller, Galen Marek (Star Wars: The Force Unleashed)

Just a few of Starkillers highlights:

- Used the force to pull Darth Vaders lightsaber from his hands and use it against Vader, and Galen was still a kid.

-He is trained in secret by Vader then is sent out to hunt and kill Jedi, such as Shaak Ti, a former member of the Jedi Council.
-He destroys an Tie Fighter manufacturing plant.

-He uses the force to pull a Star Destroyer from the sky. Yes, a Star Destroyer.

-He nearly kills Vader in the final battle (good ending), destroying most of Vader's mechanical body.

-And his family crest becomes the symbol of the rebels.

#2 - Kratos (God of War series)

Okay, what else do I need to say about Kratos other than he has killed gods and destroyed Mount Olympus. Pretty much the pinnacle of Bad Ass. And this would have been enough to garner #1, but Kratos does get help from other gods and magic weapons.

#1 - Simon Belmont (Castlevania I & II)

Simon Belmont has faced bats, zombies, flying gorgon heads, werewolves, skeletons, floating eyeballs, ghosts, dragon skeletons, hunchbacks, suits of armor, mudmen, gargoyles, giant bats, mummies, Medusa, Frankenstein, Death and Dracula all while using just a whip.

'Resident Evil: Afterlife' Trailer HD

I simply can not wait!

Horror Movie Survivor Hall of Fame

As I mentioned in my very first post, I had an idea for a Hall of Fame for Horror movie survivors. Giving this idea some thought I actually came up with some criteria for the inductees:

1) They must survive at least 2 (two) movies in a franchise.
2) The movies must be of the same franchise, remakes do NOT count.
3) The character must be the same, even if the actor portraying them changes.
4) The villain does NOT count as a survivor.
5) Survivors must be a major character in the story, background characters do NOT count.

However, these rules leave a larger section of characters in horror movies out. So on top of the major inductees, I plan on having a secondary award: The Shortened Lifetime Achievement Award.

1) They must appear in 2 (two) movies.
2) They must NOT survive their second movie.
3) Rules 2 - 5 from above are the same.

As I am compiling my lists of recipients, I am looking at a 2:1 ratio (2 SLAA to 1 SHoF) for recipients. I'm looking to update the Hall of Fame at least once a month. If you have any suggestions for either a Survivor Hall of Fame inductee or a Shortened Lifetime Achievement winner, post your nominations in the comments.

Stay tuned for the First Horror Movie Survivor Hall of Fame update coming soon.

Darth Vader's mental illness

Okay, these French psychologists have way too much time on their hands.

http://screenrant.com/darth-vaders-professional-diagnosis-mikee-63555/

I will admit, I do like their evaluation of Anakin, but come on guys, he's a character in a series of movies, the greatest movies ever (at least Eps. 4-6) mind you, but he isn't real. This seems like a waste of time even studying.

But, here I am talking about it, so I guess you win, French psychologists.

25 Years of The Goonies

Today, June 7, 2010, is the 25 anniversary of one of the greatest adventure movies ever made:

The Goonies

Man, this movie brings back memories. Even the silly NES video game where you had to rescue a mermaid was great. I wished my friends and I were the Goonies when I was a kid. I ask you to rent this, buy this, find it online and watch it with you kids tonight.

Vampires and Werewolves and Zombies, Oh My!

Last night I was watching the MTV Kids Choice Movie Awards. I say "Kids Choice" because that is clearly who votes for this award show. Only in the Twilight frenzied minds of ignorant preteens should Kristen Stewart win an award for Best Female Performer over Sandra Bullock, who by the way won a Golden Globe, SAG and Oscar for "The Blind Side." And can someone explain to me how "Twilight: New Moon" wins Best Picture over the highest grossing movie of all time, "Avatar"?


This obsession with Vampires in general, Twilight in particular, is out of control. Hollywood can be blamed to an extent, but they are only doing what every other industry does when something becomes popular, exploit the hell out of it. Movies (Twilight Saga, Underworld, The Vampire's Apprentice), television (True Blood, The Vampire Dairies), books (again, Twilight Saga, The Vampire's Apprentice, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter), you can't escape vampires.


And of course werewolves come with vampires, right? Underworld and Twilight both focus on vampires and werewolves attempting to prove which is the better species. Sadly, Twilight has a love story involved. However, I was told an interesting way to look at the love story:


Twilight is about a young girl who is trying to chose between bestiality or necrophilia.


There is a ton of things I don't get about Twilight. Team Edward. Team Jacob. Who cares? Personally, I'm on Team Zombie, but I'll get to that in a second. And what is with the sparkling in the sunlight crap? Vampires burn to a crisp in sunlight. You know who else sparkles? Tinkerbell! Having a vampire who sparkles in sunlight is like having zombies who just want a hug. It's degrading to the readers and viewers.




As for Zombies, lets face it, they are having their "day in the sun," as well these days. And like Vampires, there is a boat load of media surrounding them. Everything from movies (Zombieland, Resident Evil: Afterlife, Survival of the Dead), video games (Left for Dead series, Resident Evil series, Dead Rising series) and books (World War Z, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies [also being made into a movie]) are being made about them. They, too, are everywhere.

It's only a matter of time before some Hollywood producer okays a movie that has vampires trying to survive a zombie apocalypse. But here is where I have to go with Team Zombie. Vampires would not stand a chance during a zombie uprising. For starters, they can't feed on zombies since they are dead, blood not flowing or most likely coagulated. They share the same food source, but with as fast a zombies plague can spread the human food supply would quickly run out. Sure, vampires are undead as well, which means the zombies won't eat them, but after some time, the vampires would begin to starve. And what happens if a zombie does bit a vampire? After the vampire starves to death, he comes back a zombie. It's a no win situation for the vampire. His best bet would be to walk out into the sun and burn to death....but instead he just sparkles.

Top 5 Evil Video Game Companies

I figure I would start my Top 5's with one I have thought about for a long time. Over the history of video games, the idea of the "evil company" has been a popular plot device. Whether the company was out for global domination or involved with a massive cover up or some other "evil," these companies are a central component to the story. But who are the worst of the worst? Well here are my Top 5:

#5 - Ryan Industries (BioShock Series)

While I wouldn't really call Ryan Industries the only evil company in Rapture, it is the catalyst for the creation and eventual ruin of the underwater city. Andrew Ryan's dream of a Utopian society was made possible by his company, however his rivalry with Frank Fontaine led to the creation of the Little Sisters and Big Daddys as well as the Tonics and Plasmids that eventually drove the citizens of Rapture insane. Ryan himself believed in a society where individuals were free to do as they pleased, as long as they obeyed his rules. He acted as a dictator over utopia, which led to revolution and eventual ruin.

#4 - Abstergo Industries (Assassin's Creed Series)

Lets face it, Abstergo Industries is just evil. Kidnapping, human experimentation, murder, and I'm pretty sure the CEOs eat puppies. Not to mention the fact that it is just a front for the Knights Templar and their quest to obtain the Pieces of Eden and control the world. But you do have to wonder how well they do background checks on their employees. I mean, they track down Desmond Miles and kidnap him because they know he was born and raised by assassins, yet they hired Lucy Stillman, who is also an assassin? Their Human Resources department needs to be seriously fired.

#3 - Shin-ra Electrical Power Company (Final Fantasy VII)

Shin-Ra, Shin-Ra, Shin-Ra. Where do I begin? Genetic experimentation, kidnapping, cruelty to animals, and ecological disasters are just a few of their evil deeds. I'll admit I was all for Sephiroth offing the president of the company, that is until I realized he was a mama's boy. And even after realizing that Cloud & Co. were out to stop Sephiroth from destroying the world, did Shin-ra offer to help? I mean, Sephiroth was their creation after all. Instead, the good people at Shin-ra attempted to hamper our heroes every step of the way. I guess saving the world wasn't good for their overhead.


#2 - Umbrella Corporation (Resident Evil Series)

What list of "evil" video game companies would be complete with out Umbrella? Did someone say "None?" I'm pretty sure unleashing a deadly virus that turns humans into zombies, then trying to cover it up by destroying the entire city filled with said zombies, as well as survivors, and your own employees is most likely one of the most evil acts in video game history. Being from the New Orleans area, I wonder if the folks at BP don't wish they could do the same thing to the Gulf Coast.

#1 - Aperture Science (Portal)

Okay, you can destroy a Utopian society, attempt to use ancient relics to control the world, genetically engineer a super soldier who nearly destroys the world or even unleash a zombie apocalypse and I'm okay with it. But if you promise me cake and I find out that the cake is a LIE, well then, you are truly the most evil of evils.

Welcome

I have created this blog so that I can have a place to document the random and sometimes mundane thoughts that pop into my head over the course of a day. Opinions on movies and video games, some random Top 5's (lots of Top 5's, actually), and even a Hall of Fame of Horror Movie Survivors are all a few of the things that have crossed my mind throughout the day. Now I have a place to share them with the unsuspecting world. Honestly, if you are reading this blog, you either actually like what I have to say, or you clearly are one bored individual. Either way, thanks for stopping by.